Epic Rap Battles of History - Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers 歌词翻译

[苏格拉底]
我成名于雅典卫城，引起了全城热议
别带差劲的饶舌到这带劲的研讨会
人叫我「爱批评的狂蜂
」，哲学是我的发明

[尼采]
进场的有我这最高的虚无主义者

[伏尔泰]
还有我，他们的法藉小弟

[尼采]
我们有的是智慧

[伏尔泰]
和幽默

[苏格拉底]
而我甚至不会质疑

[伏尔泰]
下西方药物来整治

[西方哲学家]
这堆东方的病夫

[尼采]
显而易见

[伏尔泰]
你从来不是

[西方哲学家]
我们一类有思想的同路人
我们是更好的

[尼采]
思想家

[西方哲学家]
更好的

[苏格拉底]
演说家

[西方哲学家]
更好的

[伏尔泰]
情人

[西方哲学家]
更好的人

[孔子]
这种高傲固然是意料之内
说智慧的人却不懂尊重为何物

[老子]
你们这些西方人做事马虎，生活需要约束
你们不懂掌握你们自己，也不懂掌握麦克风

[孙子]
当我们用精准的攻击来扰乱你们的心神

[孔子]
把你们揍得屁股开花，我们的后人历代都会感到光荣

[孙子]
我们教懂全国人

[老子]
耐性

[孙子]
和态度

[孔子]
来生活

[老子]
而你从来无法媲美

[孔子]
那些智慧

[东方哲学家]
由我们所编写的

[尼采]
噢，我要给你可以叫你鞠躬和叩头的东西
当我蹲下来再挤出一「道」便便去老子身上
你要控制你获赋予的生命
人们叫我做超人，因为我向目标超速进发

[伏尔泰]
我昰自由思想家，所以你们这些墨守为规者就由我来对付
用机锋来做我的烤肉针，把你串起来烤做孔子烤串 (噢)
你游说的任务失败，让我狠狠地把你这小乖乖打到乖乖屈服
我要给你的负评比我出版的信集和小册子和剧本还要多

[苏格拉底]
现在我们说完你们两个阴阳双子
，让我讲讲你这个成龙
孙武，我要用我的方式挑走你的「武」啊，老兄
这个流芳百世的武将不怎么懂饶舌，你的手下肯定会说：「哟，搞什么鬼？」
你的饶舌词差得可怜，万世后人都庆幸你没撰写《孙子饶舌法》

[孙子]
臭小子，《孙子兵法》是我写的，所以你最好拿你的火枪出来了
这些小白脸都要变焦土了，因为兵圣出来了
亚洲人吐出完美得要命的饶舌，但不，这不是夺命的SARS
让老子来玩口技，现在轮到孔子登场

[孔子]
容许我对你老实
吧，伏尔泰
法式咖啡滴漏壶
加个鸡蛋面发型
你的自我中心实在太扰人
有言论自由不代表你要一直唠唠叨叨
而你杀死了上帝
，我要问你
祂是不是因给你造了八字胡而丑死了？
你尝试建立新德国精神
但你只是为德国添了仇恨，我不要第三帝国

[孙子]
而这一切都因你而起，你是这些思想之父，苏格拉底
说真的我觉得你欠你身旁那两个学生一个道歉

[尼采]
我不会我称呼自己做这贱民的学生
别要让尼采把膝盖塞进你的气场去
因为我是 N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E
我会了结任何王八蛋像我名字在拼字比赛一样

[苏格拉底]
贱民？你这贱人！我跟杀死我的毒堇汁一样毒
在门上挂个草鞋，因为你可以吃老苏的肉棒

[伏尔泰]
我的天啊，苏格拉底，你把事情弄僵了一点
来大放光明作启蒙，把这些中国混蛋弄瞎吧

[苏格拉底]
我不需要你这操控彩票的法国小蛙蛙
来教我伙伴之情
你在嘲讽道德伦理，还是别过你的肿大的鼻子，喝你的咖啡吧

[伏尔泰]
让我坦白说，不要开始跟法国人抱怨
跟B.富兰克福
混在一起的人，就是给女人吃他的法兰克福肠

[孙子]
我分化了他们，他们一乱，我们机会就来了

[老子]
我们要记住，「埏埴以为器，当其无，有器之用」

[孔子]
唉，老子，我不是要对你不敬
但你的埏埴要放点东西才会有点用

[老子]
噢，你今天不会想挡在老子的道路上
我会要你走开，让道吧

[孔子]
哟，饶舌对决的传统礼仪哪里有写
说两个同队的家伙要像两只鸟一样吱吱喳喳地吵起来

[孙子]
嘿，孔子你常常要让人安分守己
你怎么不叫你的眉毛安分点，守在你的脸蛋里

[孔子]
好吧，我知道了，你非要这样做吧？
我会把那老爱开战的家伙的头撞到你的外带小盒帽里去
所以说这是真正的金科玉律
，我比你们这样没用菜鸟高太多
子曰：「予可奉吾之幸运签饼
也」

[Socrates]
I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium
Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium
The mad gadfly philosophy was my invention

[Nietzsche]
Rolling with the flyest nihilist

[Voltaire]
And me their French henchman

[Nietzsche]
We've got the wisdom

[Voltaire]
And the wit

[Socrates]
That even I couldn't question

[Voltaire]
Dropping Western medicine

[Western Philosophers]
On these East infections

[Nietzsche]
It's evident

[Voltaire]
You've never been

[Western Philosophers]
Our type of mental brethren
We're better

[Nietzsche]
thinkers

[Western Philosophers]
Better

[Socrates]
Speakers

[Western Philosophers]
Better

[Voltaire]
Lovers

[Western Philosophers]
Better men

[Confucius]
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected
from men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is

[Laozi]
You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life
You lack control of yourselves and of the mic

[Sun Tzu]
While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration

[Confucius]
Hand you an ass whipping our descendants will honor for generations

[Sun Tzu]
We filled a nation

[Laozi]
With patience

[Sun Tzu]
And the presence

[Confucius]
For living

[Laozi]
And you'll never hold a candle

[Confucius]
To the wisdom

[Eastern Philosophers]
We've written

[Nietzsche]
Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to
When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu
You need to take control of the life you're given
They call me Ubermensch cause I'm so driven

[Voltaire]
And I'm a free thinker so confronting conformists like you, it's my job
Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab (Oh)
You flubbed the mission, I'm beating your submissive ass into submission
Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing

[Socrates]
Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move on to Jackie Chan
Sun Tzu I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man
The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic, all your men must be like "yo, what happened?"
You're pitiful lyrically, lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping

[Sun Tzu]
Bitch I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out
These white boys getting burned cause guess what now the Sun's out
Asians spitting sick but no this isn't SARS
Laozi kick the beat, now Confucius drop some bars

[Confucius]
Let me be Candide with you Voltaire
French drip with the egg noodle hair
Your ego's just so distracting
Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping
and you killed God so I gotta ask
Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?
You tried to plant a new German psyche
But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy

[Sun Tzu]
And it all starts with you, you're the father Socrates
honestly I think you owe both of your students here an apology

[Nietzsche]
I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe
Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi
Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E
And I'll end any mother fucker like my name in a spelling bee

[Socrates]
Plebe bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip
Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick

[Voltaire]
Sacré bleu Socrates, you're making things a little tense
Come let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment

[Socrates]
I'll not be taught camarederie from a frog who rigged the lottery
You make a mockery of ethics so keep your fat nose in your coffee

[Voltaire]
Let me be frank, don't start beef with the Frank
Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks

[Sun Tzu]
I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity

[Laozi]
We must remember - a bowl is most useful when it is empty

[Sun Tzu]
Ugh, Laozi I don't mean no disrespect
But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense

[Laozi]
Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today
I'll make you move bitch, get out the way

[Confucius]
Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written
That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?

[Sun Tzu]
Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place
why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face

[Confucius]
Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that?
I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to go box hat
So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies
Confucius say: "You can all hold these fortune cookies"