梁文福 - 历史考试前夕 歌词翻译

If Qin Shihuang burned all the books
I wouldn't have to read until half past three
If the Duke of Zhou is really busy ruling the world
Why does he have to keep hastening me to sleep?

If Qu Yuan
did not drown himself in the Miluo River
What would Old Wang, the rice dumpling seller, do for a living?
If the Hegemon-King of [Western] Chu
did not go to the Wu River that year
Liu Bang of the next class would not be this arrogant

If Xi Shi did not wash silk, if [Wang] Zhaojun did not make peace
How would modern classic beauties plan their lives?
If Liu Bei could not cry for Zhuge Liang
Will this lead to a script shortage?

I've only seen Xue Dingshan
, but [the teacher] would purposely test me in An Lushan
I only know that Fung Bo Bo has played Yang Yuhuan before
If not for the Twelfth Golden Edict, Yue Fei would have been transferred back
But will I still taste the fragrance of dough sticks today?

Of course I know about Zhu Yuanzhang as I have eaten mooncakes
And know about Zheng He's voyages as I have eaten durians
I've heard of the Eastern and Western Depots through King Hu's movie
And known about Yuan Chonghuan through Jin Yong's novel

I sigh that Lin Zexu couldn't finish burning opium
And that Empress Dowager Cixi supported the Boxer Rebellion
Consort Zhen should not marry that Guangxu Emperor
Few thousand years later and there came a Sun Yat-sen

The Great Wall is long, but not as long as history
The exam questions are more windy than the Silk Road
[The situation when] the Five Barbarians disrupted China was messy, but my brain is messier
My mood is more confused than the Eight-Nation Alliance

How many years of change has made us already very accustomed to this?
How many revolutions are always endless?
Thank goodness that today's history teachers can't finish talking
Can't imagine what the next generation's history exam would be like

如果秦始皇烧书都烧完
我不必读到三点半
如果周公真的忙着治天下
何必不断催我入梦乡

三闾大夫不投汨罗江
卖粽子老王生活怎么办
如果楚霸王当年不到乌江
隔壁班刘邦不会这么嚣张

西施不浣纱　昭君不和番
现代的古典美人做何打算
如果刘备哭不出诸葛亮
会不会闹出一阵剧本荒

只看过薛丁山　偏要考安禄山
知道冯宝宝她演过杨玉环
若非十二金牌将岳飞来调返
今天还吃不吃到油条香

我吃过月饼当然知道朱元璋
吃榴莲知道郑和下西洋
胡金铨的戏里听过东西厂
看金庸小说知道袁崇焕

只叹林则徐烧鸦片烧不完
西太后偏偏相信义和团
珍妃不该嫁给那个光绪皇
几千年等到一个孙中山

万里长城长　没有历史长
考试题目比那丝路还弯
五胡乱华乱　我的脑筋更乱
心情比那个八国联军慌

多少年的改变已经很习惯
多少次革命总是革不完
谢天谢地近代史老师讲不完
下一代历史考试不敢想像